Occasionally, certain movies inspire so much critical debate that it's necessary to have more than one critic weigh in on the issue. Keeping that in mind, we here at MovieRetriever invited two of our editors to weigh in on the new M. Night Shyamalan thriller, The Happening, which hits theatres today. Don't worry, we won't spoil any surprises or out any ghosts, but we might just inspire you to change your weekend plans and give the Incredible Hulk a try instead. (It can't be worse. It just can't.)

CoolerKing:

How does one describe the experience of trying to sit through a movie like The Happening? Well, for starters, you spend a lot of time turning to the person next to you and a). trading looks of disbelief that this movie, this ridiculous god-awful movie, actually found its way to theatres or b). coming up with bad Gene Shalit-esque puns to begin your eventual review, hacky jokes like "The Happening? More like The Crappening." And if you think I'm exaggerating for comedic effect, I'm not. M. Night Shyamalan's newest film is such a colossal misfire that I'm actually really excited that I got to see it during its theatrical release. There's a weird badge of honor among movie nerds that comes with being able to say that you actually saw one of the biggest flops of the year at the multiplex - that you made plans, got in your car, and drove to see something so universally reviled - and the very fact that you made the time to go see that trainwreck before it eventually lurches onto DVD, where any lazy bastard can watch it with no effort expended, that gives you a certain street cred or, at least, the unquestioned right to complain about the movie to the high heavens. My own personal "I can't believe I saw that in the theatre" roster includes such classics as Carnosaur, Highlander 2, BloodRayne, Blues Brothers 2000, and Cutthroat Island (twice!), and all I can say is, set another place for dinner, kids, because The Happening will go down in infamy as one of the worst movies I ever saw at the movie house.

So, what about The Happening doesn't work? The direction, the writing, the visuals, the sound, the acting, the premise, the plotting - everything. The movie is silly, poorly conceived, illogical, boring, ridiculous, arrogant, self-important, and, did I mention boring? I don't want to spoil the surprise of what's causing the "Happening" - any information you need is in the film's trailer - but suffice to say, when it's revealed, you will laugh, you will laugh derisively, and hope to God that M. Night is kidding. But, sadly, he's not kidding, which is a shame because, if M. Night had intended to create an Andy Kaufman-esque parody of a disaster movie, The Happening might have been a work of genius. But he didn't and it's not. Avoid like your life depended on it.

Turk182:

My mother always said that if you can’t say anything nice, then you shouldn’t say anything at all. Keeping that in mind, I’m going to applaud the trailer for M. Night Shyamalan’s new film The Happening. It promised a creepy nightmare of urban isolation. The claims of this being the director’s first R-rated film also suggested that this film was going to deliver some genuine scares and not shy away from the graphic horror the trailer also hinted at. Unfortunately, that trailer is far and away a better film (and it’s not even three minutes long) than the theatrical release which is a slow, labored piece of storytelling complete with characters that don’t act or talk like anyone would in the real world. Perhaps M. Night was suggesting that everyone was indeed affected by the mysterious “happening” from the onset and that’s why they act the way they do. Or maybe I’m making that up in a desperate attempt to salvage something from this unbelievable mess of a film. During the movie, I constantly felt as though I was watching something that the director really didn’t care if was in on or not. Shyamalan has proven himself a gifted filmmaker with films like The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, but a couple missteps over the past few years (The Village and The Lady in the Water) have caused my belief in him to waiver. The Happening did nothing to change my mind. To the contrary, it makes me question whether the only thing that Shyamalan has had going for him was the so-called “trick ending” and that once that is taken away he is just another average filmmaker producing tired, formulaic, and often boring movies. 

Unlike my colleague CoolerKing, I take no joy from having seen this film. The only good that I can see coming from such an experience is if I can convince just one person that seeing this film IS NOT in their best interest. If you do decide to give the film a chance, you may ultimately find yourself asking “what’s happening?” The answer, unfortunately, is not much.

Release Date: June 13, 2008

MPAA Rating: R

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo, Spencer Breslin, Betty Buckley, Joel de la Fuente, Frank Collison, and Ashlyn Sanchez

Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Writer: M. Night Shyamalan