The Hound is a busy dog – jetting to movie premieres in Prague one day, operating a boom mike in an Albert Pyun vampire movie the next – so he doesn’t always have the time to write 2500-word opuses on the latest Criterion or Full Moon Pictures DVD.  But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.  Here are the Hound’s off-the-cuff first impressions of this week’s DVD releases, summarizing their appeal in a jaunty 50 words or less:

Major DVD Releases for Tuesday, April 22:

Charlie Wilson's War:

Enough with the walking and talking, Aaron Sorkin.  You need to direct a remake of Death and the Maiden next to see your characters can still talk without their feet moving. Hanks and Hoffman ruled, but the movie lacked teeth (No 9/11 parallels? Really?)  and the DVD lacks features.

Cloverfield:

The Blair Godzilla Project is a nifty idea, but 80 minutes of shaky cam almost made the Hound barf into his dog dish. Maybe it’ll play more like a documentary at home, instead of a silly, overserious geek melodrama. Nice selection of DVD extras, though.  (Extra footage?  Surprise, surprise.)

One Missed Call:

“What Will It Sound Like When You Die?” – What about if no one rents this DVD?  Will it make a sound?  Or will your death go the “tree in the forest” route? Japanese horror craze finally (FINALLY!) thuds to a halt with Ed Burns’ worst movie since Sound of Thunder. 

The Orphanage:

One of the best movies of last year with one of the most electric performances by an actress in a long time (Belen Rueda rules the school) finally hits DVD. If you dug Guillermo Del Toro’s Devil’s Backbone (his best flicks are Spanish), check out this creepy cool ghost story.

The Savages:

Laura Linney and Phillip Seymour Hoffman could make a staged reading of USA’s Silk Stalkings sound like Godot, and they don’t disappoint in this “you’ll laugh until you cry” look at grown kids dealing with their increasingly demented dad. Not many features, but the real draw is Linney and Hoffman.