The nominees for the 2008 MTV Movie Awards were announced today, and… wow, remember when these awards used to be good? Remember when they had all sorts of wacky categories, atypical musical acts, and gave awards to emerging filmmakers like Wes Anderson? This year’s nominees sound like they were written by a creepy 50-year-old marketing exec who spends his days hanging around Best Buy and Hot Topic as he tries to zero in on what all the cool kids are watching nowadays.

Sigh… we might TiVo the awards (maybe), but check out the nominees for yourself:  (And enjoy our YouTube clip of a moment from back when the MTV Movie Awards were actually, you know, good.)

BEST MOVIE:

Juno (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

Transformers (DreamWorks SKG/Paramount Pictures)

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (Walt Disney Pictures)

I Am Legend (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Superbad (Sony Pictures)

National Treasure: Book of Secrets (Walt Disney Pictures)

Hound’s Opinion: Wait, did ANYONE like Pirates 3? I know Jerry Bruckheimer has clout, but why must MTV pretend that people didn’t hate Jack Sparrow’s latest adventure. Transformers, National Treasure 2, and I Am Legend were all so-so, so, in an ideal world, the trophy has to go to either Juno or Superbad.

BEST MALE PERFORMANCE:

Will Smith - I Am Legend (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Shia LaBeouf - Transformers (DreamWorks SKG/Paramount Pictures)

Denzel Washington - American Gangster (Universal Pictures)

Matt Damon - The Bourne Ultimatum (Universal Pictures)

Michael Cera - Juno (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

Hound’s Opinion: Shia? Really? He did really impress the Actor’s Studio crowd with his “Ohmygod, that’s a big robot” face? Damon dusted off an old character, Smith and Washington totally carried their respective movies (both of which were underwhelming), so we’re going with George Michael in Juno on this one.

BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE:

Ellen Page - Juno (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

Keira Knightley - Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (Walt Disney Pictures)

Katherine Heigl - Knocked Up (Universal Pictures)

Amy Adams - Enchanted (Walt Disney Pictures)

Jessica Biel - I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (Universal Pictures)

Hound’s Opinion: If the category was “best female performance in a skin-tight catsuit,” Biel might have a chance, but otherwise she’s out of her depth. Page is the obvious choice thanks to the Oscar nod, but we’re rooting for Heigl, who was the most underrated aspect of Knocked Up.

BEST VILLAIN:

Johnny Depp - Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (DreamWorks SKG/ Warner Bros. Pictures)

Denzel Washington - American Gangster (Universal Pictures)

Angelina Jolie - Beowulf (Warner Bros. Pictures/ Paramount Pictures)

Topher Grace - Spider-Man 3 (Sony Pictures)

Javier Bardem - No Country for Old Men (Paramount Vantage/ Miramax Films)

Hound’s Opinion: Is Sweeney Todd really a villain? He only killed one or two people who didn’t deserve it. I know Depp is popular with the Teen Beat crowd, but you don’t have to nominate him for EVERY award. If Topher Grace (lame whiny emo-Venom) beats Javier Bardem (scariest man ever) for this award, it’s official, there is no God.

BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE:

Johnny Depp - Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (Walt Disney Pictures)

Adam Sandler - I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (Universal Pictures)

Jonah Hill - Superbad (Sony Pictures)

Seth Rogen - Knocked Up (Universal Pictures)

Amy Adams - Enchanted (Walt Disney Pictures)

Hound’s Opinion: Sandler and Depp are the most famous nominees and also the least-deserving.  Amy Adams was a ball of fun in Enchanted, but Hill and Rogen make us laugh pretty damn hard. If any of those 3 won, we’d be fine with it.

BEST FIGHT:

Matt Damon vs. Joey Ansah - The Bourne Ultimatum (Universal Pictures)

Tobey Maguire vs. James Franco - Spider-Man 3 (Sony Pictures)

Hayden Christensen vs. Jamie Bell - Jumper (20th Century Fox)

Sean Faris vs. Cam Gigandet - Never Back Down (Summit Entertainment, LLC)

Chris Tucker & Jackie Chan vs. Sun Ming Ming - Rush Hour 3 (New Line Cinema)

Alien vs. Predator - Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (20th Century Fox)

Hound’s Opinion: This is the category with the worst selection of nominees yet. Stupid CGI cartoons from a bad superhero sequel, teleporting pretty boys, martial artists from a movie we’ve barely heard of, the boring paycheck duo (Tucker and Chan) in a Brett Ratner movie, and two classic movie monsters in one of the worst sequels ever made. Matt Damon gets this one – no contest.

BEST KISS:

Shia LaBeouf and Sarah Roemer - Disturbia (DreamWorks SKG)

Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey - Enchanted (Walt Disney Pictures)

Daniel Radcliffe and Katie Leung - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Ellen Page and Michael Cera - Juno (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

Briana Evigan and Robert Hoffman - Step Up 2 The Streets (Touchstone Pictures)

Hound’s Opinion: Well, obviously, Step Up 2 deserves it… sorry, couldn’t keep a straight face. This has to either go to Juno (most moving kiss) or Enchanted (biggest Hollywood kiss). Everything else… bleah!

BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE:

Zac Efron - Hairspray (New Line Cinema)

Seth Rogen - Knocked Up (Universal Pictures)

Jonah Hill - Superbad (Sony Pictures)

Michael Cera - Superbad (Sony Pictures)

Chris Brown - This Christmas (Screen Gems)

Nikki Blonsky - Hairspray (New Line Cinema)

Megan Fox - Transformers (DreamWorks SKG/Paramount Pictures)

Christopher Mintz-Plasse - Superbad (Sony Pictures)

Hound’s Opinion: This category always confuses us. Rogen, Hill, and Cera have been making movies for years, so why do they qualify as “breakthrough” this year? Blonsky can dance, Efron, Brown, and Fox are very, very pretty, but this award HAS to go to our man McLovin.

BEST SUMMER MOVIE SO FAR:

Iron Man (Paramount Pictures/Marvel Entertainment)

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (Paramount Pictures/Lucas Films)

Sex and the City: The Movie (New Line Cinema)

Speed Racer (Warner Bros. Pictures)

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (Walt Disney Pictures/Walden Media)

Hound’s Opinion: Possibly the biggest corporate shill of an award this side of the Golden Globes. Let’s see – Speed Racer has terrible buzz, Narnia is a bit too Sunday School for our tastes, Sex in the City… we really don’t want to see Kim Cattrall naked anymore – so it comes down to Iron Man and Indy. Even though George Lucas’ involvement makes us nervous (the Force is weak with him), we’re going to have to err on the side of Dr. Jones.