As much as vampire fiction has taken off with films like The Twilight Saga: New Moon and programs like True Blood and The Vampire Diaries, the creativity in the world of alien-based filmmaking seems to have run aground. How else to explain awful films like Aliens in the Attic, The Fourth Kind, and now the ridiculously bad Planet 51, a film with essentially no redeeming value at all. I had problems with Monsters vs. Aliens but it looks like WALL-E compared to this almost defiantly lackluster effort. Some films are poorly written, but it is the rare film that barely feels written at all. Planet 51 features such a drastically small amount of actual creativity, character, or design that you can barely sense any human involvement with it whatsoever. Computers have been assisting in the production of animated films more and more every year, but have they started writing them too?

Planet 51 has a loose plot but it's mostly just an excuse to throw in as many references as possible, as if constantly reminding the audience of better films is going to somehow elevate the experience of watching this one. The film is so cluttered with references to sci-fi films that they have absolutely no meaning, like a kid’s toy that spits out lines when the toddler pushes the right button. And the references go from uninspired to infuriating as they pile on top of each other. By the time Planet 51 got around to randomly spoofing Singin' in the Rain (after already desecrating Alien, Star Wars, and many more personal favorites) I was simply angry that the accomplishments of others had to be a part of this train wreck.

The concept of Planet 51 is simple – make a 1950s alien invasion movie (a la Invaders from Mars) but inverse the species and location. Instead of an alien visiting Earth, an astronaut visits the titular planet. Displaying a shocking lack of creativity, everything on Planet 51 feels a lot like the United States in the 1950s. Instead of nuclear war or Martian invaders, the kids of this world are concerned about "Humaniacs" and love the film franchise based on deadly space travelers who take over their planet a la War of the Worlds.

The hero of the piece is Lem (Justin Long), a lonely alien kid who pines for the cute girl (Jessica Biel) and has an awkward friend (Seann William Scott) who reads too many comic books. Apparently, the universe is filled with planets populated by bad movie clichés. We truly are doomed. Into this horrendously designed world drops Captain Charles T. Barker (Dwayne Johnson), an astronaut who immediately needs help getting back to his spaceship. With Lem's assistance, a few lessons on trusting others (even aliens), and some awkward action pieces, Planet 51 limps to a predictable conclusion.

Planet 51 is the kind of film that most parents or guardians will check out of completely before the fifteen-minute mark. There's simply nothing interesting going on here and only a few scatological jokes and some bright colors are likely to entertain even the little ones in the audience. The character and world design is almost ridiculously bland with better visuals on your standard Nickelodeon programming. Even the voice work is lackluster with Johnson coming off particularly annoying, reading every line as over-the-top as possible. Scott and Long aren't any more memorable and John Cleese and Gary Oldman are completely wasted

The only remarkable thing about Planet 51 is the absolute lack of anything memorable about it. There's not a single clever line of dialogue and the only image that sticks with me at all is that on Planet 51, the beings there use small versions of the creature from Alien (in a bit of blasphemy, one is even named Ripley) as their acid-urinating dogs. Yes, even Giger's Alien has been turned into a pee joke. Can the sub-genre sink any lower?

Rating: ONE BONE

Release Date: November 20th, 2009
Rating: PG

Starring (the voices of): Dwayne Johnson, Jessica Biel, Justin Long, Gary Oldman, Seann William Scott, and John Cleese
Director: Jorge Blanco
Writer: Joe Stillman