Earlier this week, we did a feature on excuses grown-ups could use to justify going to see the much buzzed-about teen vampire flick Twilight this weekend, and do you know why we did that article? Because even though most people we’ve talked to over the age of 25 have said either they don’t understand the appeal of Stephenie Meyer’s modern gothic romance or something akin to “Why am I only hearing about this Twilight movie now?,” the truth of the matter is... EVERYONE is going to see it this weekend. Granted, we already knew that every girl under the age of 14 had pre-ordered their opening night tickets months ago, but the more we talk to our peers, both young and old, the more we realize that 80% of the populace has resigned themselves to seeing Twilight sometime in the near future. (Say a prayer for Bolt, Disney fans.)
If you’re a tween or an angtsy youth of any age who wishes a vampire with perfectly tousled hair would take them away from all their worries, you already get the appeal of Twilight. However, if you’re, say, a website run by over-the-hill jaded movie nerds, it’s a little harder to tap into the frenzy surrounding Twilight’s release. Critical reaction to the film has ranged from so-so to surprisingly positive, but we just didn’t think that the Hound’s normal kennel of reviewers was the best audience to judge whether director Catherine Hardwicke was truly able to tap into the lightning-in-a-bottle excitement that has surrounded Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series since its first publication.
We needed a critical look at Twilight authored by someone dead-center in the movie’s target demographic, the kind of person that Twilight was made for, and, thus, we turned to our roving teen reviewer, Celine Leduc, age thirteen. And if Celine’s review gives you any indication of how popular this movie is going to be with the teen crowd, you might want to cash in the last of your worthless auto industry stock and invest in Robert Pattinson calendars and fang polish.
And so, without further ado....
Celine Leduc’s Twilight Review:
“Tons of teens (and adults) have been anticipating the movie to the striking Twilight series. If they didn't get this right, they would have some very cross people! Did it live up to the high standards? They nailed it! Sure it wasn't exactly like the book (with some parts out and some added in) but it was amazingly close! Definitely something to get up and see with your best friends and silent scream when Edward Cullen comes on. It was surprisingly funny. I am going to see it a second time! I give it four bones!”
Rating: FOUR BONES
Editor’s Note: Minutes after Celine’s original review was submitted,
we received a follow-up email titled “URGENT!” The text inside read:
“WAITT!!!! MAKE THAT FOUR AND A HALF BONES!!!”
Release Date: November 21, 2008
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke, Ashley Greene, Nikki Reed, Jackson Rathbone, Kellan Lutz
Director: Catherine Hardwicke
Writer: Melissa Rosenberg