Anyone's who been to the Hound's head office knows how much the MovieRetriever staff loves — and we mean, unabashedly LOVES — director Uwe Boll. And we're not being ironic hipsters or anything, we honestly, truly love both the man and his films. Why? Because if Monty Python and Judd Apatow had a love child and that baby signed a multi-picture development deal with Ben Stiller and Jim Carrey, it STILL would not produce as many laughs as Uwe has given us over the years.
You'll be hearing a lot about Dr. Boll (that's right — he's a doctor) on this blog in the weeks to come, but, in this first entry to our online Boll diary, we just wanted to mention two things.
#1. While you can, please, please try to catch In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale while it's still lingering at a few dollar theatres. It's TOTALLY worth your dollar, plus you get the normal Boll onslaught of awesomeness, including Burt Reynolds as a king, Ray Liotta and Matthew Lillard throwing down in a scenery-chewing showdown, completely inexplicable ninjas, and an end credit soundtrack filled with some of the most gleefully embarrassing German metal tunes in recent memory.
#2. A fun anecdote: As some of you may remember, Uwe Boll held a contest in 2006 where he offered to box his harshest critics, in an apparent attempt to prove their rhetoric wrong with sheer knuckle sweat. Despite the fact that we knew that Boll used to be an amateur boxer AND that he was screening the physical characteristics of the contestants, the Hound just had to throw his hat into the ring.
And — we swear to God — after we sent in our application letter and samples of our reviews of his films (he's actually the only director in the book with an all WOOF rating), we received this response from Uwe not one hour later (the original spelling and grammar have been left intact):
"what weight, size and age you are?
and send a jpeg of you
The review shows that you are a real retard — what qualifies you.
Classic. No surprise that the man holds a Ph.D., eh?